she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
