he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize