I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize