Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
