You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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