i don't plan on having that self control this summer
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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