You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
