NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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