Kiss
Puke
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
