we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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