Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
