is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
