Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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