i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
