I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We're too hungover to prance.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
