I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
