Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
