OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
