I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize