also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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