you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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