he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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