Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
