I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
