batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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