Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
