You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize