I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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