If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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