Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
