Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
