dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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