I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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