My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
