Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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