She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you never un-have a 4some
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
