dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
