So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize