I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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