am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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