we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
