just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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