I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
