yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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