Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
