Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize