Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
