i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
