This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
