This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
