i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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