You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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