I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
