Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
