Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
