it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
