But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
