just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
